Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hello My Name is Nicole and I am FAT!!!!!

Okay so, I know I asked what some of you thought about me doing Vlogs on weight loss, but I don’t think I want to do that on my beauty channel.  I have decided to start small on my blog because I have fewer followers and I am much more comfortable with that.  So here goes…..

Last night I was editing a video to upload to my channel and I clicked on a very candid video that was taken of me just that week.  I was horrified at what I saw!  I mean, I know I see myself on camera a lot because of the videos I make, but this was different.  This was full body shots of me moving about as if there was not a camera around.  I had NO idea I looked the way I do.  Now, not to be dramatic, I know it could be worse.  I just feel like for me this has gone way too far and I am ready to get on a healthy path.  Last year in July I started to lose weight and I lost a total of 32 pounds.  I was down to a size 5/6 and was feeling pretty good about myself.  No, no! I was feeling amazing about myself!  Now I have gained back close to all of the weight and I am so unhappy and insecure.  I have 1 pair of jeans that fit me because I threw away all of my “fat” jeans for fear that I would ever want to go back to my old ways.  So now I am wearing the same pair of pants almost daily.  I also refuse to buy more “fat” jeans, so here I am……….stuck.  My only option is to get back into shape.  Oh and I forgot to mention that the last time I lost weight, I did it the right way by using a weight watchers sort of App on my phone and I was doing a lot of cardio.  My problem was that I did NO weight training so I was flabby.  It looked nice, but go squeeze my arm and it was all a fa├žade.  So now it’s time to update my app (WWDiary For Android FREE!), eat right and exercise my booty off!  I am so ready for this.  I am making a list and going to the grocery store now.  I can post what I am going to pick up so you can see what my diet will consist of.  Keep in mind, I am trying to do very low carb and I am not trying to cut out a lot of my fats so you might see chicken with skin or 2% cottage cheese instead of nonfat.  I will be posting my exercise and food diets as much as I can.  I am not comfortable posting my weight, so I will let you know how many pounds I have lost as in “ooooh 3 pounds to day” sort of thing.  I would also love, love, love it if you would help me by posting tips, tricks and stories.  I need all of the inspiration I can get.  We all know this isn’t an easy thing to do.  The goal can seem so far away and sometimes it is easier to give in to our instant desires rather than work toward the long haul.  I hope this help someone out there and if not, well, it’s helping me.  Love you guys!  XOXO